Some years ago, I sat enjoying a message delivered by Rhonda Meyers, co-owner of The Heartfelt Impressions Early Childhood Education Centers. The message would serve as the keynote address, for one of the previously named Metro Detroit AEYC Conferences. Each point Rhonda shared resonated with my soul, although I was filled with so much ANGER based upon the current state in my life.
Through the years, I believed that I was continually holding onto my FAITH, yet instead, I became increasingly ANGRY about my life’s journey. I was so unhappy and didn’t believe that my life held value. Why had God allowed me to experience child molestation, domestic abuse, unhealthy relationships, life-threatening near-death health issues, disrespectful children who had no idea how much I prayed to God just to have ONE child which resulted in more life-threatening health conditions, all resulting in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?
I crazily believed that if I kept up an outer appearance, continually receiving one higher education degree after the other, no one would see the anguish and pain. I seriously thought that I was hiding behind all of the hurt!
Rhonda stated in her keynote to the audience, “you are enough”, yet I believed that she was speaking directly into my brokenness. I had allowed myself to be physically and mentally mistreated so often, that at some points in my life, I believed that I must have deserved the treatment because I wasn’t enough!
As Rhonda continued to speak, warm tears began to flood my cheeks, yet I quickly dried my eyes. I was not ready to release the ANGER. Sometimes we can find ourselves in so much pain that to think to do anything differently, causes just as much pain. Instead, we often continue to massage our woes.
Fast foreword to a couple of years later, a completion of a few more higher education degrees, ANGER, yet not as ANGRY, still manifested in my life. I still didn’t believe that I was enough!
Rhonda delivered another keynote, on this occasion, it was for the Michigan Association for the Education for Young Children (MiAEYC). In that keynote, Rhonda shared the beautiful piece, “Leadership Lessons from Geese” by Joel Garfinkle. Once again, the depth of the message permeated my soul for a period of time, until I allowed myself to be disrespected in an unhealthy relationship, not believing that I was enough.
At some point in time, I became sick in tired of being sick in tired! Rhonda, with a huge sunshine smile upon her face, approached me during a monthly local affiliate meeting. She walked over to me and gave me a hug filled with sheer compassion. As if she was speaking in the voice of the Holy Spirit, Rhonda whispered in my ear, “I can see that you’re not yourself. Please know that I’m praying for you and I can’t wait to see how God blesses you.” On my way home from that meeting, I was crying so hard that I had to pull over!
At the following month’s affiliate meeting, Rhonda and I greeted one another with friendly words of encouragement. I thought about “Leadership Lessons from Geese”. I felt the strength of the wind behind my back. Rhonda knew that I needed to pull back and allow others to take the lead, absorbing their strength beneath my wings.
Taking a break to address my mental health, was one of the best prescriptions I could have ever received. I no longer see myself as empty and not enough. I’m forever thankful that God placed such an angel like Rhonda in my life.